Two Old Codgers

How the World strikes us

September 2019

Do you ever take the time to think back on how people that were once strangers became friends?

We all have a large number of acquaintances but probably a smaller number of friends. I wonder how and why these people became what I might call real friends? Put up with another of my crackpot theories and see if it makes any sense to you.

Could it be that H
Homo Sapien
omo Sapiens are not just a single species but a mish-mash of several sub species and we automatically relate to our own lot?

You must have experienced meeting someone for the first time. Either there is a spark of something which clicks in both of you or you move on from that person without any sort of real contact. It has nothing to do with social status, politics, education or wealth. Simply something indefinable which, given the opportunity, could turn into a lasting friendship.

There is an assumption that friendships are formed and cemented when we are at school and I think we did feel the need to attach ourselves to some sort of group, however small. Some may stick for a lifetime but speaking for myself, I don’t have many friends from that time in my life. One who was my ‘Best friend’ quietly drifted out of my life and I am sure it was my fault. It sounds horrible but ‘Minds didn’t meet any more’. I genuinely believe he was a nicer, kinder bloke than me but there seemed to be little that fed our relationship. There was no falling out or disagreement but I hadn’t seen him for many months when he died.

Friendship for me has nothing to do with how often we meet up or what we do for one another. The closeness I feel for some doesn’t seem to need nurturing. The cement is built in and even though we are not ‘close’ the bond seems to be permanent.

I find it difficult writing this. I am avoiding names because it feels as thoughI am discriminating against people for whom I have a genuine affection and I simply do not want to start categorising. Does it sound dreadful if I say I am sure there are some who see me as a friend but who I see only as acquaintances?

Glad I have finished writing that. Too many regrets and too much trying to pigeon hole people who in one way or another have all been a large part of my life.


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Before I published this on the internet, I showed it to a very good friend and asked him if he thought it was OK. This is his comment

There’s nowt wrong with it. There are people I avoid like the plague. People I tolerate for all sorts of reasons. Then there are some I really like, but we have no ‘connection’. Then there are friends. We all discriminate and I think it’s perfectly natural.